"The bullet didn't kill President Garfield," he said. "The probing around searching for the bullet time and time again is what caused the president's death."
Whoa! I didn't see that memo from heaven coming.
That Sunday morning found me curled up on the couch in my pjs surfing church services on television. I had chosen to stay home because, once again, the night before I had gotten very upset over a personal loss that held gargantuan pain. Pain I kept recycling. Pain I held onto because it was mine and I wasn't ready to let go.
So here I sat fully engaged in my very own pity-party on a Sunday morning when the Lord rudely (or could that be mercifully) interrupted my tears with a very important announcement : "The bullet didn't kill President Garfield. The probing around searching for the bullet time and time again is what caused the president's death."
The probing ...
I had been guilty of probing, always searching for ways to validate my pain, to refresh it's torrent of tears.
And it was slowly killing me. The wound couldn't heal because I kept opening it up over and over again.
I knew it was time to let go. Let go of the love lost. Let go of the betrayal. Let go of the continuous searching (probing) for information to validate my angst.
Paul very wisely exhorted the Church at Philippi, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."*
Thinking on things worthy of praise does not involve probing for a bullet that I survived.
Thinking on things worthy of praise will lead me (and you) to the foot of the cross where His love was written in red, where His acceptance washes over us with a tidal wave of grace.
Thinking on things worthy of praise establishes us in the midst of His peace surrounded by His precious Presence and guards our hearts like a sentinel.
A heart guarded by God's phenomenal peace will heal and find strength to go on.
Have you found yourself guilty of the same thing? Probing? Digging around for the bullet until it kills you?
Sometimes it's better to leave things alone. If we're always probing around our hurts, our wounds, and our failures, our pain will stay so stirred up we will never heal.
Sometimes we have to read the memo from heaven and choose to obey.
*Philippians 4:8
A Tweetable to Encourage Others
Where is God when I'm having a pity-party? @NanJonesAuthor offers a glimpse. (click to tweet)
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Thank you Nan for this insight and help into learning how to let go of the betrayals and scars in our lives. Thank you also for the reminder of Philippians 4:8 and thinking on the right things. What a blessing! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Marcie. It's hard to let go, isn't it? But what a vivid picture this paints of what happens when we continue to dig and probe to validate our pain. I'm so thankful the Lord taught me this. Thank you for praying me through.
DeleteI'm looking forward to sharing this with my Christian Survivors and Overcomers of Child Sexual Abuse group. How very fitting for this. Thank you,Nan, for reminding me as well.
ReplyDeleteWow! Did I ever see myself in this one! I was doing it on Saturday and it not only made me miserable, but Dirk too. Thank you for a lesson I hope to remember.
ReplyDelete