God is doing a work in me.
I am learning to rely solely on Him. I am learning to literally run to Him in my time of need - to listen and respond to His tender invitation to come - to sit at His feet while the world races by. I'm thankful for the lessons, painful as they may be, because I know my faith is growing deeper.
Lessons of the heart are not easily forgotten.
But I want you to consider something. Even though my heart's desire is to run to Jesus as naturally as I breathe, I know that my stubborn, self-sufficient self gets in the way. Can I get a witness out there? Why are we so stubborn and proud? Seriously!
I pondered these things in my heart as I took Blue for his afternoon walk. Beneath the long shadows of a chilly November afternoon, the Lord reminded me of something I read a few days ago in A.J. Russell's, God Calling:
"But to those who do not feel their need of Me, who obstinately reject Me, who shut the doors of their hearts so that I may not enter, to these I go in tender, humble longing. Even when I find all closed, all barred, I stand a Beggar, knocking, knocking."
My goodness, how we must grieve the Holy Spirit. It breaks my heart to think of the times I have rejected His tender nudging while He stands waiting for me to turn to Him in my time of need.
Revelations 3:20 reads, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me."
Beloved, He is waiting. Knocking. Extending His grace. But if we don't open the door and let Him into our circumstances and struggles, He remains separated. Rejected. Longing to comfort, provide and restore.
This is heavy, isn't it? I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me...
Father God, please forgive us for our stubborn, hard-hearted ways. Soften us Lord. Create in us clean hearts that honor You, that hunger for Your touch. Thank You for Your mercy and grace. You are an amazing God.
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I can relate to that. Lately my spiritual desires have been very weak and wordliness has been increasing. I'm fully aware that when I have too much on my plate (work, family duties, and a long list of etceteras) I tend to leave the Lord aside and eventually grow anxious and depressed (like Martha). Now I'm slowly trying to come back from that backslidden state, but it's not easy.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord has been pressing on my heart the verses in John 15 that relate to fruitfulness in abiding in Him.
Carina, it's so good to hear from you! I believe we all - especially women - suffer from the distraction of busyness. Acknowledging the problem is the first step in correcting it. You are a powerful woman of God. Don't ever forget that. I'll be praying for you.
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