Disappointment draped the air like dusty cobwebs. Ugly. Dirty. Needing to be cleaned up. But wasn't my pity-party justified? Well, yeah! I mean, I could justify it just fine, thank you very much.
But what did God have to say about it?
After I sobbed (did I mention wailing and gnashing of teeth?) I sat quietly. My bottom lip pushed forward in silent defiance. But, at least, my tantrum was over.
The Spirit of the Lord whispered to me, "Come on outside with Me."
I walked to our porch swing and sat down. The warmth of spring felt good on my face. I wiped my tears.
"I want you to get your garden gloves and clean out those flower beds," the Lord whispered.
"What?" I said. "I prefer to sit here and sulk."
"It's your choice, but I wish you would do it," He said.
I sighed a great attitude-laden sigh, pursed my lips, and twisted my mouth with more silent defiance, but...I got up, put on my garden gloves and got to work. Stray grass and stubborn weeds littered my beautiful beds. I pulled hard, making sure to get the roots out.
"Thata girl," the Spirit of the Lord whispered. "Get it all out. Even the roots."
One weed in particular had a huge taproot on it. I pulled and I yanked. I yanked and I pulled, finally resorting to using the shovel to remove every bit of its root. I loosened the dirt around its base and grabbed on with both hands. I heaved with all my might and the root, including its tendrils, let go.
I stood in the middle of my flower bed. I looked at this invasive, strong weed and then I turned my eyes toward heaven. "Very funny, Lord. I get it."
Disappointment was the superficial result of something bigger. Deeper. Something with roots and tendrils. Destructive disappointment was the result of not trusting in the sovereignty of God. Either He's God, or He's not. Either I believe He directs my path, or I don't.
I asked the Lord for forgiveness, right there in the middle of a pile of stray grass and stubborn weeds. But, guess what I did next? I began to sing songs of God's faithfulness. I began to call out the goodness of the Lord:
"You are faithful, Lord."
"You are able - You've never failed us before and I know You won't fail us now."
"You are merciful and kind, good and mighty."
"You are God and You alone are worthy of my praise."
My spirit began to rise in me. Just like King David, I encouraged myself in the Lord.
And my God responded with His gift of hope, peace, and contentment.
"I will praise You, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing to You among the nations. For Your mercy reaches unto the heavens, and Your truth unto the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; Let Your glory be above all the earth" ~ Psalm 57:9-11
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Do your ladies need an evening of hope, or a day of refreshment? I'm filling my spring calendar and would love to add your name. Visit my website, Nan Jones at www.jubilantlight.com for more details, or contact me directly at nan@jubilantlight.com. I don't consider any group too small. Every heart is precious to the Lord.
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If you received Morning Glory via email, please visit the Morning Glory page to encourage yourself in the Lord with Meredith Andrews as she sings, "Not For A Moment". This is the song I sang while working in my flower beds. I sang it over and over. I think it will give you strength for the journey.
Oh Nan, I had the same thoughts that morning, so I know where you're coming from. I didn't (and still don't) understand. We've tried for the last 2 years, and yet we get the same result each time. But you're right, we didn't trust God fully. Either He's God, or He isn't. Which are we going to believe? Love you, my precious friend!
ReplyDeleteJamie, it's not for us to understand, it's for us to trust in a Father God that loves us dearly. There's a HUGE lesson here if we'll open our hearts to receive. I love you :)
DeleteWow, powerful picture of His love and your obedience. Thank you for sharing it. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for understanding. You are such a blessing.
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