"Momma. Momma," I cried. Running barefoot out the front door, the cold wet grass washed my feet in heaven's tears as my heart lay bare against the morning light. Blindly, I bounded through the woods, stumbling upon a childhood trail that led to the top of the mountain. I wiped the sorrow from my face and slowed my pace to a steady walk. All about me, nature testified of God. The sweet, musty smell of raw earth soothed me and joined my spirit with that of my Lord. I crested the hill. Sitting down on a rocky ledge, I once again crumbled into a broken heap. My shoulders heaved with sorrow. My mind traced its memories of those last few hours with mom before the clutches of death took her from me. I recalled watching as her body swelled with fluid. Her face became contorted as mini strokes ravaged her brain. Cancer was the demon and I demanded to know where God was. Where are You, God? Where are You? I silently screamed as I watched her take her last breath.
But then something undeniable happened. As momma took her last breath, her twisted face relaxed and she smiled. My. Mom. Smiled. She was at peace. She had stepped across the threshold of eternity into the arms of God.
The memories took on a sweet aroma as I allowed the Lord to embrace me with His Presence. The valley below tumbled over pastures and clusters of underbrush. The mountain ridges flanked each side and echoed in repetition far into the distance. I listened as all of creation sang praise to the Creator. I sat engulfed in His majesty, embraced by His love.
Isaiah asked, "Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, or with the breadth of His hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare Him to?" ~ Isaiah 40:12,18
Who, indeed? This same God Who rides on the wings of the wind carried me up the wooded trail as a shepherd carries the lambs in his arms, holding me close to His heart. His power was all about me. The vastness of God took my breath away and, yet, His tenderness comforted and compelled me to nuzzle up safely beneath the shadow of His wing.
God's love is great.
For as long as I live, I will testify of His love.
Father, If only we could begin to fathom Your greatness! If only we would begin to understand Your love and the depth of Your being. Thank You for being greater than any struggle we ever face. You, Lord, are magnificent and we love You.
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Good news! A devotional I am featured in has been released! Yay, God! Here's the link to Amazon if you would like to purchase God's Word for God's People: 2013 Daily Devotional.
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If you received Morning Glory via email, you'll want to get your spirit dancing by visiting the Morning Glory page to sing along with Wynonna Judd as she sings, "I Will Testify To Love".
Oh Nan, what a sweet tribute to your mom. I loved how she described the way the Lord held you in His arms at one of the darkest moments of your life. You use such great imagary and pull us into what you're experiencing. May the Lord draw me ever nearer to His heart. Love you, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteJamie, that was so sweet of you. Thank you darlin'. Love you!
DeleteYou did it again, sweetheart. I agree with Jamie... the imagery you use is pure poetry! I could almost feel your pain... And yet that praise that comes out of your lips... It's so precious! I've got a lot to learn from you and Jamie.
ReplyDeleteMy sweet sweet friend. Your mommy was taken from you, but you have a lot of daughters you love dearly. The pain you've experienced has ultimately resulted in great blessing for yourself and many of us. It's a privilege to be your friend.
Thanks for not growing bitter at the bitterness of life, thank you for being a sweet aroma unto the Lord. Thank you for being a letter many can read. Thank you for the Love you have and give which is Love from God ministering to our souls.
We are precious jewels. You most certainly are. Thank you for teaching me I'm precious too. Thank you for teaching me to believe that God can use this little vessel. Thank you for showing me that, even though the light in me is still little, I can let it shine and be a blessing for others too.
Love you lots!
Carina, what a beautiful letter. You made me cry...happy tears. Thank you. I believe it's by God's grace that my heart has not been hardened by life's sorrows. I asked Him to reveal Himself to me through these difficult times and that is exactly what He has done. I am so thankful and forever amazed at His goodness. Love you sweetheart!
DeleteThis brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry you had to go through that but God was right there with you the entire time. I will never forget witnessing my first patient death. I think I remember telling you about it. It was at Forsyth in palliative care. The lady had altered mental status. She had so much fluid in her body that even her eyelids were weeping the fluid out. Right before she passed, she lifted up her hands to the heavens and smiled and said "I am ready." I will never forget that image of such a peaceful and calm death. She was fighting moments before but at that exact moment, she was in her right mind and was ready. That happened with my great grandmother also. She had alzheimers and dementia but when she passed, she had a big smile on her face. Jesus coming to take His children home is such a beautiful thing. Thank you for being so transparent with your feelings during that vulnerable time. I love you.
ReplyDeleteWitnessing the death of a Christian is incredible. David and I have had the privilege of holding the hand of many as they cross over to glory. There are barely words to describe it. You, too, will be used of God during these precious times with families letting go of their loved ones. I know God will work through you mightily. I love you little Rose.
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