I began the morning washing dishes when unexpectedly, tears filled my eyes. "Jesus. Jesus," I moaned. The tears fell in a tidal motion, ebbing and flowing with the pain of endless days of despair and disappointment. I quickly dried my hands and fell to my knees with the realization of the hardness of my heart. I could see it. My heart had become calloused from lamenting the same troubles over and over again. God was calling me to look past the struggles and see His face, hear His voice, and recognize His Presence.
I had shoved my relationship with Jesus into a nice little corner. I knew He was there, but He was kept at a safe distance. That way I didn't have to address the issues in my life. I could put on my happy-face mask on Sunday mornings and no one was any wiser to my pain. But, while on my knees, I realized that Jesus wanted so much more for me. He was calling me to Himself.
I grabbed my Bible, sensing a thirst that I had long denied. Turning to Deuteronomy 2:3, I read, "And the Lord spoke to me, saying: 'You have circled this mountain long enough; Turn northward.'" Turn northward. Step out of the wilderness. The words leaped from the holy pages. God was telling me that the wilderness I had been wandering in had a pathway that led northward towards His throne.
"What do You mean, Lord?' I asked. "How do I find my way out of this dismal place?"
"In My Presence," He answered, "in My Word, conversing with Me, singing My praise. I long to be with you, child, but you must be intentional about spending time with Me."
Sweet friend, I cannot adequately describe the joy that came over me. For the first time I realized that a daily quiet time was not about being disciplined. It has everything to do with love. Relationship. Exchange. Not a legalistic requirement. Elohim, the Creator of the Universe, wants to spend time with us.
Embracing this invitation from the Lord has changed my life. I look forward to my time with Him. I greet Him with expectation, knowing that whatever I am lacking in that moment will be provided. He is healing me, restoring me and giving me purpose.
I wish the same for you. He has been with you through the pain and confusion. Step out of the wilderness. Let Him lead you northward to His throne.
Father, Your grace really is simply amazing. Strip us of our religious ideals and open our eyes to behold Your face. Open our ears to hear You beckoning us to come. Stir up a longing within us that only You can satisfy. Thank You Lord. We love You so much.
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Oh nan, I love this. So many times, we think that our quiet time with Him is a legalistic thing, but it isn't. For many years, I thought of it as that-a ritual that I needed to mark off my list. Over these last few years, you've taught me so much. You've taught me that it isn't that at all. I just love you so much!
ReplyDeleteI love you too Jamie girl. I believe this is God's heart for each of His children. He wants us to long to be with HIM, not just go through the motions of self-righteousness.
DeleteThis one really touched me! It is about a love relationship not legalism. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMary Jane, You're so precious. Thank you for stopping by. If I've learned anything in the past few years it's that God pursues His children with His love. Always. He wants to be with us because He loves us. How beautiful is that?
DeleteI was in a Christian bookstore yesterday and my fell upon a small devotional book on a display at the end of an aisle. The books title grabbed my attention and I thought, "Wow, that's it? That's all?" You see, the title says, One Minute Devotions For Women. And my immediate thoughts rebelled within me saying things like, "But women are so busy today. Maybe that is all the time they might have." Then my heart said, "No. We should be willing to give God however many minutes He needs to work in us and through us." And I admit to a little bit of despair reading that title because how many times have I done just that. Given Him only the one minute I had so I could go watch tv, do housework, schoolwork, etc... But He yearns us to come to Him just as we are to His presence so we can look northward and receive His grace, mercy, love, healing...Oh what a friend we have in Jesus! Thank you for sharing Nan! Love this! ~M :-)
ReplyDeleteMarcie, I'm so glad you stopped by. Thank you. Women, especially, are so busy. Jesus wants us to return to Him as our first love, to make Him our all in all. What a beautiful love story! But, how easy we fall into Satan's trap and disguise our love for God with the busyness of caring for His people instead of falling at His feet in adoration. Oh My! Please pray for me as I pray for you ;-)
DeleteNan, the Lord spoke to me as I read your words. I have to admit that I have pushed God in the same timeout corner. I don't think it was intentional. It just happened. I use His words to encourage. It's easy to speak of His greatness of mercies and forgivenss. I can easily tell others to go to Him to get out of depressions, pains nad hurts. But what hasn't been easy was for me to go there myself. Where did I "lose Him" ( the relationship) in all the "rituals and routines" ?
ReplyDeleteI saw myself talking to others for rescue. Yes, God does use us to be Jesus with Skin on... but somehow, somwhere, I seem to have forgotten to go directly to Him.
Thank you sweet Nan,once again, for writing what God places on your heart. I really really needed this one today. God bless you. I love you...Doodle...
You are so precious. I love you. I think all of us can testify to putting God aside while we busy ourselves doing His bidding. Plus, His glorious light exposes some pretty ugly things sometimes that no one enjoys acknowledging, especially me. But THEN! Then the renewing of our minds occurs and new feathers in our eagle's wings are grown and He brings beauty out of our ashes. Now, THAT is good news. I love you Doodle :)
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