Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Finding God's Presence ~ God Never Wastes Our Pain

by Nan Jones   @NanJonesAuthor

Guest Blogger, Penny L. Hunt  @PennyLHunt

I'm delighted to introduce to you my guest, Penny Hunt. Penny is a fellow author with Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas. She enjoys encouraging others in pressing into Jesus when life comes at you hard. Penny joins me in praying God's best for you, our readers, and asking that you will receive strength for the journey.

Welcome to Morning Glory, Penny!

I wore a blue suit on my wedding day. White was, as mother said, "for virgins." So, as the shadow of a shotgun hovered across my grandparents' fireplace - I cried my way through what I had always dreamed would be the happiest day of my life as a justice of the peace pronounced two semi-amorous teenagers "man and wife."
Afterward, my new husband’s parents drove us to their home and we moved into their basement.  My in-laws were wonderful people.  They treated me like their own daughter, and I had a few months of relative happiness until at eighteen weeks I miscarried and lost the baby.

If you are reading these words and have lost a child or a grandchild either through illness or accident, or a preborn through miscarriage or abortion there is something very important you need to know. God loves children.  He loves the infant.  He loves the newborn.  He loves the preborn.  All children are precious in His sight.

We read in the Bible that when King David’s newborn son died he wisely said, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”  David knew – as Jesus later affirmed in the gospel of Mathew during a discussion with His disciples about who would be the greatest in His Kingdom – that God is not willing for any child to be lost.  “I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father…your Father is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.”  

For a long time after my miscarriage I believed I was being punished for getting pregnant out of wedlock and wondered if my baby was in heaven or not. What a comfort it was to learn that truth. 

I also learned something else through that season of anxiety and loss. I learned some of the foolish and totally inappropriate things people will say to a woman who has just suffered a miscarriage.  Things like:

  • “You can always try again.” As if you didn’t “try” hard enough the first time and can do better next time.

  • “At least you weren’t further along.” Loss does not have a timeline.

  • “At least you didn’t know your baby.”  A woman begins loving her baby the moment she knows she’s pregnant.  She is grieving because she never had the chance to fully know the child she loved.

  • “It’s probably for the best.”  Really?  For who? The mother?  The now dead baby?

  • “Don’t worry.  It won’t happen again.”  Oh, how we hope and pray this will be true but building false hopes and expectations for the next time can be a set-up for an even greater letdown if everything does not go well…with an even longer time of healing.

So, what should you say?  A simple, “I’m sorry” is usually best. If you’re particularly close, really mean it, and will follow through, you might add, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

My life and your life will never be perfect.  There will always be good times and bad times.  However, it has been said, and I believe it is true, that the most vibrant and fragrant of blossoms are those that have been sown in the crucible of life. God will, in time and ways you cannot imagine right now, use even this heartache for good in your life as you trust Him and cling to Him for comfort. God never wastes our pain.

A Tweetable to Encourage Others

Meet Penny: 
In her latest book, Bounce! Don’t Break… Amazon.com bestselling author and speaker, Penny L. Hunt shares the way she has learned to bounce-back from set-backs and emerge from unwanted change stronger, more authentic and resilient. 

Get to know Penny:

website pennylhunt.com 

pinterest Penny Hunt  

twitter @PennyLHunt 

Bounce! Don't Break... can be purchased on Amazon


  1. Thank you Penny for sharing your deeply personal story and the lessons you gleaned from it. Thank you for helping us understand how to respond in times suffering not only for others but also for ourselves. Thank you for ministering to my heart today. Blessings, Marcie :-)

    Thank you Nan for sharing Penny with us. :-)

    1. You are so welcome Marcie. I love how the Lord proves Himself over and over to us, especially in our pain.

  2. Thank you for sharing your story, Penny! As a woman who experienced years of infertility and finally adopted, I know the sting of the comments others think are helpful. I'm sorry works in that situation also.

    1. You're right Norma. Even good intentions sting at times. "I'm sorry" seems so simple, but that with a heartfelt hug is usually the best way to love a hurting friend.